because the beat is slowing down
by Aiko Isari
Summary: [Next/Xros Wars] He had been timid once before. He had hesitated. But he wasn't hesitating now. character study, reincarnation


_Warning for past character death_

* * *

He was Kudo Taiki now.

It was a nice name, he figured, nice like the fact that he was living a little longer and his heart wasn't going too fast. It was nice like the fact that his mom was around and he got to visit animal shelters and go outside and run. It was like being in the digital world, except it was real.

He missed Gaomon, but Gaomon was a small price to pay for being alive a second time.

That was a cruel thought. He didn't like that. As Inui Yuu, it had been hard to avoid them, those thoughts with painful hands and envious claws. Those thoughts didn't really matter now though. He could run, he could do sports, he could have friends and do well at school and-

 _-even the digital world had only been a fake dream, this was real and he got to sleep and wake up-_

he could handle it. He could handle life and that was a dream.

Of course, he didn't really remember being Inui Yuu much as it was, just that it had happened, and that was the most important thing, in the end.

* * *

He has another advantage in this life from having had another: he's less afraid to talk.

Taiki's a good speaker, in fact. Tsurugi was smart when he wanted to be, a leader, a friend, helpful when you didn't poke at him like you would a sleeping bear. He had admired those traits, and his father had told him: the best way to admire was to emulate. Or was it, imitation was the sincerest form of flattery? He wasn't sure.

It was nice though. Talking to people and being less tongue tied. Talking to people and knowing it wouldn't make him upset.

As it turned out, that was just what he needed.

Tsurugi and Ami had a child.

Well, no, they had lots of children. If he had died a little bit older, it would have make him laugh until he was sick. As it was, Taiki just smiled wider than usual.

Akari, one of the girls, stuck to him like glue. And he stuck to her right back. Like that, it was easy to think his good friends weren't around the corner, talking to his mom or going to work.

He kind of wanted to ask if their Digimon pets sat in a drawer, gathering dust, waiting for their batteries to be replaced and call their friends back. But he said none of this. He didn't know why, but maybe it was because they looked so happy. The past was the past and he wasn't in it anymore.

That was such a strange thought.

* * *

The Digital World comes for him.

Someone was dying, not like he was but exactly like he was and that's weird. He's so small. Taiki doesn't ever remember being that small. He remembers feeling that way.

In the past, he had always wondered what Tsurugi-nii-chan would do. He can't afford to wonder anymore. He would never be Tsurugi anymore, and that person was an adult now. He'd do things differently.

Still, as Taiki says his name to the blank canvas, he likes to imagine that if he knew, his idol would be very proud.

* * *

He meets Aonuma Kiriha and immediately thinks of Shou-nii-chan. Thinks of him and the shadows in his eyes and the ultimate kindness in his heart.

That was probably his father.

Taiki hasn't seen Shou. Yuu never knew him well to begin with. But, even so, to know he got better for a while is enough. He must have. He hopes he is doing well.

In the meantime, he has a blond rival of his own to deal with, and they don't have the advantage of being friends. Well, he thinks he can work with that.

Maybe.

* * *

The statue whispers in Norn's voice that she has missed him. He's missed her too. Times have changed, but friendships are forever.

* * *

Somehow, this does not feel like a war. It feels like a revolution.

It feels like blood is only being spilled because this is a battlefield, and not because there is any real rhyme or reason.

At least in the past, there had been a cause. Sometimes the cause seems lost.

Of course, as long as people are in earshot, Taiki never says this. He works harder to make up for his dark thoughts, presses his brain to think of ideas that aren't just reassurance.

Funnily enough, that seems to be all Shoutmon needs. He's so very different from Gaomon.

Being here makes him miss that friend of his.

He almost wishes he had a Pet toy again.

Maybe he could look around when this was over, and find Gaomon.

-Artificial Digimon need a Tamer's love to survive-

Remembering that sentence gives him pause, gives him pain. His chest suddenly aches very hard, harder than the force of a sob.

Taiki sits under a blanket and thinks for a while. He thinks of the operation, of the allergy he hadn't known about and the deep water feeling that had dragged him into somewhere else.

Taiki raises his head to the stars and thinks that is the most he's remembered of being Inui Yuu in a very long time.

Is it really important?

He makes himself get up and head back, eyes dry.

* * *

Before the operation, Kitajima Taku had come over to play with his train sets. It had been a lot of fun, he had realized, seeing someone else. The guy had been so quiet and thoughtful.

At some point, he had asked, "How did you stop crying?"

Yuu had stared at him. "I didn't."

Taku had worried his lip, black eyes like his yet so much brighter. Then again, his friends hadn't died, though his sister almost had. "But… you don't."

"Yeah I do." Yuu had found himself smiling, flushed with surprise at having his very own junior. "I just do it less. And that's kind of what happened. It's not that I stopped crying. I just want to do something different with that, is all."

Taiki heard Amano Nene call his name (or what had been his name) and thought of that moment. Was that Kitajima Taku's son, and had he honored him? He hoped not, that was bad luck.

Then again, if he had to be saved, he supposed Amano Yuu's luck was already pretty bad as it was.

Poor guy.

* * *

Looking at the green portal, and at his friends, Taiki feels a sudden rush. He knows what he's going to do. He recognizes this. This is a rebellion. Perhaps it's a rebellion against god.

Or, well, a god.

The thrill that runs through him is only his own and all he needs to confirm something he's never really wanted to accept.

He's alive, and he needs to act like himself.

Taiki smiles with confidence and tunes out the excitable beating of his heart. He used to hesitate. Not now. He had his answer.

"I'm going on ahead," he tells his friends.

There's no other way but forward.

* * *

 ** _A/N:_ ** Don't ask, guys. This was just weird. And I was needing a new idea really badly. So there you go. If you want to play with the idea, just credit me for the original concept... I think that's how it works. Anyway, read and review. It really helps me out!

Challenges: Prompts in Steps 4.09 - problematic, Ultimate Sleuth 0.5 - Write a meeting that is not a first meeting, and Diversity Writing Challenge D35. Write in the hurt/comfort genre.


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